1. |
Medicine Line
03:51
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I'm in treatment for my problems
Sign out my medication, I've done my meditation today.
I am healing from my trauma
Though it may not look that way, I cried into my plate at lunch
We've all been told that we aren't good enough
By the people that we love, lovers that we trust
Down for the count and we're doing just fine
Me and my sick friends, waiting in the medicine line
Laughing at dinner with my sisters
I can't almost forgot we are just these broken shards
Almost normal in our shatter
As I try to remember this is how a mosaic starts.
We've all been told that we aren't good enough
By the people that we love, lovers that we trust
Down for the count and we're doing just fine
Me and my sick friends, waiting in the medicine line
Someday they'll throw my broken body in the bay
But for now, we're not alone.
We are the ones that got away.
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2. |
Ohio
03:57
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When I wake up, my headache is burning my brow
Another night of worrying about you
Somewhere in Ohio, you're driving around
Cursing my name to the radio DJ
My stomach is churning, attacking itself with guilt
And with sorrow
I'm pouring hot water over coffee grounds
Wondering if you're holding it together but does it even matter?
Guess I'm no longer welcome in Ohio
I guess I'm no longer welcome and I already know
Guess I'm no longer welcome in Ohio
It doesn't matter that I stare at your letter alone
Til my vision blurs your words jumbled
You said that you'd never love anyone again
Do you know what that does to my psyche?
I can't breathe, I'm leaning at the base of the stairs
Waiting for my anvil to fall
My picture is hanging in a bar somewhere
You're throwing darts and telling your friends that I couldn't care less
Guess I'm no longer welcome in Ohio
I guess I'm no longer welcome and I already know
That I'm the devil incarnate for breaking your heart
And you'll never let it go
Guess I'm no longer welcome in Ohio
This is my apology for everything I couldn't be
This is my apology, I'm sorry
How many times do I have to live up to what you put on me?
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3. |
Empty Room
03:40
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It always starts with me getting cocky
It always starts with me not listening and I'm thrown from the bull
I ask you to hold my issues
Roll up my reservations like a man does
Before he challenges another drunk man to another drunk fight
I'm always in a drunk fight with myself
i'm terribly sober and I'm starting to think
If I didn't have to listen to myself speak
Well I wouldn't
If I didn't have to listen to myself speak
Well I wouldn't
Well I wouldn't
Did I say something thoughtless
I feel like I should hide in the closet till the parties over
I'm picking at my beer label
I'm shifting in this backless chair
And I wonder if anyone would notice if I left
I'm just another voice in this cacophony of unhad sex
I'm a terrible listener and I guess I believe
If I didn't have to tolerate myself think
Well I wouldn't
If I didn't have to tolerate myself think
Well I wouldn't
If I didn't have to listen to myself speak
Well I wouldn't
If I didn't have to listen to myself speak
Well I wouldn't
Am I even real life?
Or does my true self only exist in my own mind?
If I sat alone long enough, what hell would I find?
I wanna run barefoot from your house till I see the sunrise
I wanna run barefoot from your house till I see the sunrise
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4. |
Slow Motion
03:11
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I watched the bomb go off in slow motion
I watched the blood unfold in the sky
All I could do was watch the explosion
All I could do was stand there and cry
You were the consequence too little too late
The convincing argument I wish I had made
To you
as you walked away
In slow motion
In slow motion
I always thought I would put up a fight
If the chips were down I'd go swinging into the night
But when I looked at you from the other side of the divide,
I froze
Watched you walk away
In slow motion
In slow motion
In slow motion
In slow motion
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5. |
Hate Me
02:33
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Nightmares shake me awake
Murdering my pillowcase
Just wish I wasn't alone
And when I close my eyes, I'm haunted by visions of your face
Wish I could scratch em out
Just erase it
Why do I miss you when you hate me?
Why do I miss you when you hate me?
Why do I miss you when you hate me?
When you hate me?
Don't wanna miss the way
you always knew what I was thinking
I never had to say it
Don't want to miss your breathe
Grazing on the back of my neck
I feel like a lunatic
Wish I could remove it
Why do I miss you when you hate me?
Why do I miss you when you hate me?
Why do I miss you when you hate me?
When you hate me?
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6. |
Afraid of Your Body
04:29
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Midnight, full moon is violent
Carved out of the sky like it's stolen
Windchill penetrates my jacket
no there ain't enough layers to cover this heart
I want to live as a chain-smoking cowboy
Got a girl, got a horse, got a fire
I want to escape this prison of me
This prison of desire
Where do you go when you're afraid of your body?
Who do you call when you're afraid of your body?
Where do you run to? When the problem is you?
Where do you run to?
Self harm it has a bloody kiss
and it takes and it takes what you give
My heart has the teethmarks of where it bit
I'm no saint and I don't think I'm going to heaven
I could drive my car to Antarctica but I'll never escape what I'm trapped in
Where do you go when you're afraid of your body?
Who do you call when you're afraid of your body?
Where do you run to? When the problem is you?
Where do you run to?
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7. |
Amnesia
04:03
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I don't wanna know your name
But I do
I don't wanna see your face
The ghost in my room
Don't wanna remember pain
You put me through
Every time you come up in conversation
I wanna rip my body in two
Said you forgot about me
Where do you get off without memories?
And I think it's a little convenient
Instead of PTSD, I wish you gave me amnesia
Don't wanna know how you've been
Cause you didn't want know how I was
You didn't wanna care about
Anything you had done
You always get to wipe your hands and sit and watch
Far be it from me to give you a crisis of conscience
when you never had one
Said you forgot about me
Where do you get off without memories?
And I think it's a little convenient
Instead of PTSD, I wish you gave me amnesia
I wish you gave me amnesia
I wish you gave me Amnesia
I wish you gave me Amnesia
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8. |
Little Gods
05:01
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I'm gonna take this day
And not think about all the ways I hurt you
And at night when I pray,
None of my words will concern you
I'm holding on to something better
I wake up, I breathe air
I'm driving miss daisy down 101
Singing that same old Springsteen song
I made some mistakes
I did, yeah I did
I made some mistakes, I did
But whose saint was I anyway?
Whose saint was I?
I heard you're calling my friends
Thinking you're doing them some kind of service
Like you're equipped to dole out my sentence
Like you're god.
When you look in the mirror,
Do you see a halo and wings
Are you sitting on a thrown of your judgmental thoughts?
Baby I'm not
You made some mistakes
Yeah you have, yeah you have
You made some mistakes, yeah you have
Who's saint are you anyway?
Who's saint are you anyway?
Did your heart stop working?
When you became a god?
Were you afraid of learning
in the face of the faith that you lost?
Did your heart stop working?
And I hurt you badly
Didn't claim to be holy
Who's saint? Who's saint?
Who's saint was I anyway?
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9. |
Plastic Folding Chairs
04:48
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Stayed on the line until my tears dried
I'm six months in to a tunnel with no other side
115 pounds and barely alive
I came back from the dead made of feathers
Curled on the ground screaming my fears out
Into you're nervous receiver
Are you gonna hang up on me?
My best friend says she's staying but I don't believe her
I'm getting tired of talking about plastic folding chairs
And thank you for your shares
Just wishing you were there
Thousands of miles between you and I
And you're barefoot porch on a humid night
Laughing so hard until my skin fits right
Instead of stale cookie sighs
Everyone here knows my first name and
I've given them the blueprints for my veins
They don't know what I was like before I came
They see relapse in training
I'm getting tired of talking about plastic folding chairs
And thank you for your shares
Just wishing you were there
I'm getting tired of livin
A life hidden in plastic folding chairs
Next to strangers in repair
Just wishing you were there
I don't wanna introduce myself to anyone
I don't wanna introduce myself to anyone
I don't want to explain myself to anyone
I just wanna talk to you
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